I think it's difficult for most people to accurately describe who they are. I'm definitely one of them. How can you possibly sum up your life in a few paragraphs? Although it seems impossible, struggling with figuring out your life story will help you think about what you've gone through (at the very least). After a lot of thought, here is what I've come up with......
My childhood was wonderful and I was so incredibly blessed to be raised in such a supportive family. I do have divorced parents, and the split family has always been a challenge for me to face. It's hard to divide time and spread love evenly. I was blessed with the greatest gift of my life, my brother Tanner, throughout all of these years. He is my very best friend and I think he may be one of the only people who can truly understand everything about what I've been through to become the person I am today. I love my grandparents more than almost anything, and my weekly conversations with them are my inspiration to lead a pure and beautiful life. I have that crazy kind of family who will bicker and argue, but at the end of the day, we all love each other. Family gatherings are insane, and truly my favorite memories of my childhood.
I think I was a little awkward and shy growing up, until I met some of my good girlfriends who broke me out of my shell. In middle school and high school, I just went with the flow and did what I thought every kid was supposed to do: sports, student council, peer counseling, etc. I had fun, dated a boyfriend for a few years, and knew that college was the next logical step. I wanted to get as far away as possible, so I spent my freshman year in Hawai'i. Living in Hawai'i was one of my first life-altering experiences.
Away from the comfort and support of my family, I discovered a lot about who I was and questioned a lot of how I got to that point. I distinctly remember the day I was in my honors ethnic studies class (with 10 students) and realized that I'd never been aware of the bubble I grew up in. GOD BLESS my mother for all the love and care she provided me with, she couldn't be a better mother. I'm referring to the lack of life experience, which I'm sure you can't really find until you move out from your parents. I remember learning about the Hawaiian culture and how important it was to them. I never knew how much diet, tradition, and holidays could affect a group of people until I moved there. When I was asked to write a paper on my traditions and family history, I was surprised by the fact that I didn't even know where my family had come from. I simply knew I was American.
At that point, I knew that my love for other cultures would grow. I wanted to learn and appreciate all the foundations of the Hawaiian culture and I longed to know more about what other people dealt with growing up.
I studied in Hawai'i for a year, and transferred back to Colorado. I began my pre-med schooling, and throughout my time as an undergraduate student, I began to realize how horrible people in health care can be (there are still incredible doctors out there, don't get me wrong). I saw a lack of sympathy and understanding, as well as prejudice and racism/sexism. I wish I never had to remember the way doctors and nurses treated some patients, but that's a lot of the motivation that keeps me going today. I want to make a difference and be a culturally competent doctor.
I became an intern with the Undergraduate Pre-Health Program and I completed training on how to become a more culturally competent health care provider. Another amazing experience that led me to where I am today! I learned so much from UPP, I will never be able to express enough gratitude to the staff and volunteers of that program. I fell in love with talking to patients at the Physical Therapy clinic I worked at, and I realized how different everyone can be. But at the same time, we mostly all share common hopes, fears, and goals in life. We're all human, and we all make mistakes. We all have a story, and we all want to feel loved. I realized that summer that I wanted to take a better look at myself and the world around me in order to become the best person I could be.
A few years have passed since those two events have occurred, and I find myself wondering about where to go from here. I've spoken to so many people recently about how society puts pressure on us to act, look, and live a certain way. I struggle with my desire to be a doctor, because I feel as though so many people have different motives to go to medical school. I know that I need time off to ensure that my desire to help people as an M.D. is not a selfish desire.
I want to know that I love and appreciate people from all walks of life, and I want to learn to be a great listener. I want to know that I have enough compassion to treat any patient and call them by name, rather than by their disease. I want to be fired up about caring for people and making the world a better place. I truly believe that if we can stop to take the time to learn from one another and respect each other, the world would be a better place.
I know that I am meant to meet many more people and hear their life stories. I promise to try to let go of my past, give back to as many people as possible, and spread joy to the rest of the world. For every person reading this, I encourage you to do the same. Never be content with your life as it is; there is always room for growth and helping others. Learn, love, laugh, and live! Life is truly beautiful.
The only thing I am sure of, is that I have no idea where life is taking me. And I'm learning to love the uncertainty in that. The road that I'm traveling down will lead me to the next incredible person to log onto this blog and share their story.
Peace, Love, and Happiness!
